How I Started Going Through Dad Coach Rehab
When my son started wrestling at the age of 6 I had good intentions, but bad execution.
- I followed what everyone else was doing instead of figuring out what was best for my son.
- I punished my son based on his performance in practice.
- My expectations were unrealistically high.
- I wanted my son to be the best more than he wanted it for himself.
- I set goals for my son without following a process to achieve them.
At first, I ignored all the warning signs. I was doing the dad coach thing all wrong and the relationship between me and my son suffered. Consequently, I didn’t realize I had a problem until my son started running track when he was 9 and I did all the same dumb things.
It was at track practice when one of the coaches not only told me about myself, he told me about the mistakes he made with his son. I’m very lucky that by this point I didn’t already drive my son to quit sports altogether. Unfortunately and fortunately it was during this same time frame that my startup also failed.
Dad Coach Rehab Starts with Learning From Others
These experiences taught me that chasing success, fame, and material objects is a waste of time. In addition, I came to believe that pushing my son to be the best in youth sports at the expense of our relationship and his happiness is also a waste of time. This wake up call led me to continue to seek the advice of those smarter than me. I found other mentors and coaches who already navigated the shark infested waters of youth sports and fatherhood, then opened my ears, heart and mind to their wisdom.
This ongoing process of listening to mentors and coaches, while doing my own research is rehabilitating my crazy dad mentality. However, I’m by no means 100% rehabilitated. I have relapses and I still need the help of both my wife and kids to hold me accountable.
However, I now have a philosophy I’m committed to, and it’s working wonders. My relationship with my two sons is better than ever and they are both excelling at what they love to do. This philosophy is simple, but requires discipline and patience. I sum it up as 5 fundamentals for raising happy children. I hope that sharing what I’ve learned will help you avoid the mistakes I made on my journey as a dad coach.