Two Factors that Separate Good Parents from Great Parents
There are many factors that separate good parents from bad parents. Most of those factors depend on the type of parenting style used. Equally important are the factors that separate good parents from great parents, and I believe there are two.
All good parents value teaching their children discipline and structure. In addition, all good parents are very intentional about how they communicate with their children. These things are the foundation of good parenting. Given that, it’s the application of these things that separate the good parents from the great parents.
1) Great Parents Explain The “Why” Behind Their Methods of Discipline and Structure
While all good parents provide discipline and structure for their kids, only the great ones take the time to explain to their children why. Instead of explaining the why, the most common alternative is to tell a child:
“Because I said So”
Defaulting to this cliché parenting response too often eliminates many teachable moments that could otherwise help a child develop skills to reason. Although it’s time consuming to constantly explain the why behind rules and methods of discipline, it’s worth it in the long run.
A child’s ability to reason is one of the make or break factors for success. Great parents understand this, and use every opportunity available to develop this ability in their children.
2) Great Parents Encourage Two-Way Communication
It’s one thing for parents to tell their children what to do and force them to listen or face punishment. It’s another thing for a parent to encourage two-way communication by listening and taking feedback from their children.
Good parents are good with one-way communication from parent to child. Great parents are great with two-way communication. Two-way communication provides children the opportunity to disagree with parents and make their own decisions in a variety of circumstances.
Inevitably, this flexibility will lead to a child making several bad decisions along the way that will frustrate a parent who knows better. This is a good thing, as it provides opportunities for growth. With guidance and feedback in these situations, a child develops the ability to mature into better decision makers over time.
Great parents recognize that this is the end game. They know that developing a child’s ability to make good decisions in the long run is more important than getting 100% compliance from them in the short run.