How Parents Manage Control – What Type of Controlling Parent Are You?
Nobody likes to be controlled. However, as a parent a big part of your job is to manage your level of control over your children. The thing is, most parents don’t like controlling their kids as much as their kids don’t like their parents controlling them. Nevertheless, it’s the parent’s job to carry the big stick of control and use it with caution.
On the one hand, if you give your child too much control before he or she is ready, you risk exposing your child to dangers that could ruin their life. On the other hand, if you are too controlling you risk making your child overdependent on you and sabotaging their development.
This conundrum is one of the most important balancing acts a parent must manage. Furthermore, the level of control any given child is prepared to accept is different at each stage of development. For this reason there is no once size fits all answer.
How I Manage Control With My Two Sons
My approach to this problem with my oldest son was to error on the side of too much control. Then force myself to lessen the level of control here and there to test his maturity. Each time he passes a test, I lessen my level of control more often and in more situations. This approach is working well for me with him.
Conversely, with my youngest son I’ve taken the opposite approach. I error on the side of too little control. Then I increase it when he shows a lack of maturity. The jury is still out on this approach.
Unquestionably, this is something that I will continue to grapple with day in and day out. Sooner or later, time will prove if I’m making the right decisions.
How do you manage control in your family? Please share in the comments.