The Curse of High Achieving Youth Athletes and Students
The title of this post just sounds wrong. How can high achieving youth athletes and students be cursed? One word explains it all…PRESSURE!
High achieving children have no where to go but down. They have a tremendous amount of pressure put on them to continue to meet or exceed expectations or face disappointed parents, coaches, and teachers.
As a result of their high potential, their parents are ready and willing to invest every dime into private coaching, tutors, travel teams, and national competitions. With every additional dollar spent, expectations rise.
On the other hand, average and low achievers get to relax. Anytime they overachieve it’s a bonus. These children build their self-worth not from how they perform, but from the friendships they develop. They are constantly told that they have time to grow and just have fun being a kid. These children learn to deal with failure easily because they experience it early and often in life.
With high achievers it’s just the opposite. They have less time to develop friendships because they’re always on their way to the next practice, tutoring lesson, private coaching session, or competition. In addition, most of the practice partners or teammates who could be friends end up being “frenemies” because they are competition as well.
As a result, a high achiever’s self-worth often becomes largely dependent on how they perform. As long as they win, they feel good. But a few bad outcomes in a row could send them into a depression.
Furthermore, high achievers struggle with failure. It’s a rare experience. From a young age they have always been the best, and the best has always been expected from them. It’s hard for them to develop the skill of bouncing back from failure because the never get a chance to experience it, until it’s too late.
If you are a parent of a high achiever, show them some empathy. Teach them the coping skills to deal with pressure. Help them experience failure and build their capacity to bounce back. Allow them time to develop their self-worth outside of their achievements. Most importantly, every day show them that you love them no matter if they win or lose.