The Problem with Winning in Youth Wrestling
Yesterday, I listed “winning” as one of the values that demotivate children in my article on how to help kids become self-motivated. Obviously, there is nothing inherently wrong with winning. The problem comes from parents and coaches who over value winning.
For example, in youth wrestling I have personally witnessed parents and coaches who demotivate children by over valuing winning. These parents and coaches typically display this behavior by doing things such as:
- excessive weight cutting
- lying about their kids grade or age
- heavy use of caffeine and other artificial stimulants to energize their kids
- emphasizing live wrestling and competition over drilling technique and practice
- punishing their kids for losing
- discussing and comparing other kids win/loss record with their kids
- emphasizing techniques that only work at the youth level and that don’t promote long term growth
Each one of these behaviors can lead young athletes to believe that winning matters more than anything else.
As kids grow older, this belief could lead them down a dangerous path. Not only will they lack self-motivation, they may also seek out performance enhancing drugs and other cheats to take shortcuts to winning.
Winning in Youth Sports Is Not As Important As Many Think
The reality is that winning is important but just not as important as many parents think. When it comes to kids enjoying youth sports, winning is not even one of the top factors. Research done by George Washington University’s School of Public Health found that winning is not even close to one of the top factors.
This study found that the following were the most important factors:
- Being a good sport
- Trying hard
- Positive coaching
- Learning and improving
- Game time support
- Games
- Practices
- Team friendships
- Mental bonuses
- Team rituals
- Swag
In conclusion, if you want to develop self-motivated kids who win in the long run, you must de-emphasize the value of winning now. Instead, allow your kids to develop the will to win on their own by developing values that build this will over the long run. These values include purpose, sacrifice, preparation, discipline, creativity, helping others, work ethic, commitment, community, and team work.