Take My Advice – Don’t Give Advice
There are two types of people when it comes to advice:
1. The person who is stuck, who doesn’t know what to do next, or who is afraid to make a decision. This type of person often uses the act of getting advice as their cure all. For simplicity, I will refer to this as Person 1.
2. On the flip side, there is the person known for getting unstuck, knowing the next step and conquering the fear of deciding. This type of person is often sought out for advice. I will refer to this as Person 2.
If you are Person 1, it’s perfectly fine to seek out advice from Person 2. Getting advice is part of your process and there is no need to change that. The only advice I have is don’t seek advice from another Person 1.
If you are Person 2, it’s time that you stop providing advice. Advice is not what Person 1 needs. Person 1 already knows what they should do, and they are using you as a crutch. The best advice I have for you is to get comfortable using the GROW model.
The GROW model is a simple problem solving technique often used by coaches to help their clients achieve their goals. The key aspect of using this model is that it allows you to avoid giving advice and instead put the responsibility of figuring out the next step in Person 1’s hands.
The only way to keep Person 1 from using Person 2 as their crutch is for Person 1 to take responsibility for their next step and not expect someone to tell them what to do. The GROW model does that by getting Person 1 to answer a series of questions about their situation:
G – Goal: What do you want to do?
R – Reality: Where are you now?
O – Obstacles/Options: What’s stopping you / What could you do?
W – Will/Way Forward: What will you do / What’s your action plan?
Person 1 likely already knows the answers to these questions, but is afraid to do what it takes to find their way forward. Person 1 doesn’t need advice. The only thing Person 1 needs is for Person 2 to help them raise their self-awareness about their situation and help them take responsibility for getting their self out of it.