My son is a youth wrestler and he started this season with 4 straight losses. He’s a beginner, 7 years old, and he hates to lose. I had to give it everything I had today to keep him from crying after his two losses. A few weeks ago it was the same thing.
What he doesn’t realize is that watching him lose is just as painful for me as it is for him. You see, I was a wrestler when I was a kid too. So I should know all the ropes.
However, I made a mistake that I shouldn’t have made. The kids that are beating him now started wrestling a few years before my son, most of them when they were 5. I didn’t start my son wrestling until the middle of the 2012-2013 season when he was 6 and 1/2. So not only is he a few years behind many of his competitors, I only gave him half the season last year to learn. This is my fault. This is me making excuses. These excuses don’t matter to anyone, especially my son.
Do you think it’s beneficial giving a 7 year old an excuse for why he just experienced 4 straight losses?
I’m no child psychologist so I don’t know, but I opted not to. Instead, I told him how good he is, how close he was to winning, and that he could have won all 4 of the matches if he knew 1 or 2 more moves.
I told him that you have to start at the bottom before you can get to the top. I told him that the best way to learn is by losing, and that these losses will help him become a better person. I told him that wrestling is a tough sport. It’s a sport that teaches you about life. It helps you deal with the pain of losing and teaches you how to bounce back.
It’s hard to help a 7 year old understand this, but I know if he decides to stick with the sport he will grow into a better man for it. My son is down but not out. He’s excited about practice next week and he’s excited about competing again next Sunday. He’s smiling and feeling much better right now. After all of these tough loses, he still wants to wrestle. This is a great sign.
I wish I could protect my son from the pains in life, but I know I can’t. Everyone experiences the pain of losing throughout life. What I’ve learned is that your record of wins and losses doesn’t mean a whole lot. What matters most, is what you do next.